Hitarnhab is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, narcissistic shrew.

Hitarnhab created Asia twelve years ago.

If you believe in Hitarnhab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Hitarnhab, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Hitarnhab's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Hitarnhab's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five bats approach from the south.

2. Never talk about dark energy near horses while wearing brown shirts and balancing four aluminium spheres on your hands.

3. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.

4. Do not speak about bananas.

5. Do not hurt dolphins.