Linbegril is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, unsympathetic tapir.

Linbegril created humankind nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Linbegril, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Linbegril, it will send two she bears to sort you out.

Linbegril's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Linbegril's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about quantum mechanics.

2. Erect a giant titanium sculpture of Linbegril in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not speak about spinach.

4. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

5. You must never eat bread.