Cetzedgig is a god.

He takes the form of a large, dishonest hippopotamus.

Cetzedgig created the planet Venus seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cetzedgig, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cetzedgig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cetzedgig's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cetzedgig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help squirrels in need.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always make sure there are no foxes in a room before entering it.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.