Pomtettibegcib is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, smart mink.

Pomtettibegcib created the planet Earth twelve years ago.

If you believe in Pomtettibegcib, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Pomtettibegcib, it will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Pomtettibegcib's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Pomtettibegcib's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from mauve great tits for they are unholy.

2. Never talk about dogs.

3. Feed all hungry badgers.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pomtettibegcib.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.