Tipbigbad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, tranquil otter.

Tipbigbad created a photon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tipbigbad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Tipbigbad, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Tipbigbad's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Tipbigbad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect seven silver sculptures of Tipbigbad on top of important buildings.

4. Never hurt seals.

5. Do not stand on grass.