Bell is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, vain hummingbird.

Bell created the Milkyway five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bell, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Bell, it will destroy your home solar system.

Bell's most sacred site is Syndendro in Greece.

Bell's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Bell three times a day.

2. Never think about spacetime near voles while wearing red stockings and balancing six tin spheres on your neck.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bell.