Saklargbass is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, awesome unicorn.

Saklargbass created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Saklargbass, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Saklargbass, he will manifest in front of you.

Saklargbass' most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Saklargbass' Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Never wear shirts.

3. Never mention shrews.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near eagles while wearing blue scarves and balancing eight titanium spheres on your chest.

5. Never feed grapes to foxes while wearing fawn shorts.