Kikjadfat is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, dishonourable horse.

Kikjadfat created a charm quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kikjadfat, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kikjadfat, it will be very unhappy.

Kikjadfat's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Kikjadfat's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of squirrels.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never mention great tits.

5. You must pray to Kikjadfat six times a day.