Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis is a god.

He takes the form of a small, tranquil seal.

Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis created bats eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis, he will refuse to believe in you.

Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis' most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Pidontyarpxinyamdodlenmis' Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lentils.

2. Hide if nine manatees approach from the north.

3. Never sprint near horses.

4. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.

5. Do not wear magenta clothing.