Armbugdav is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, temperamental raccoon.

Armbugdav created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Armbugdav, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Armbugdav, she will be very unhappy.

Armbugdav's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Armbugdav's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Armbugdav.

2. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Do not dye your hair indigo.

4. Feed all hungry rats.

5. Never feed strawberries to porpoises while wearing jumpers.