Pasmadmatbed is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, cheerful cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Pasmadmatbed created the Small Magellanic Cloud three billion years ago.

If you believe in Pasmadmatbed, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Pasmadmatbed, he will turn you into a worm.

Pasmadmatbed's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Pasmadmatbed's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never think about nebulae.

4. You must never eat gooseberries.

5. Always help frogs.