Arpbutlat is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, smart mole.

Arpbutlat created a strange quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Arpbutlat, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Arpbutlat, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Arpbutlat's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Arpbutlat's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed lots of peas to capybaras while wearing white kilts.

3. Never write about galaxies.

4. Draw representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Arpbutlat on top of all buildings.