Jadquaffen is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable duck.

Jadquaffen created a quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jadquaffen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Jadquaffen, he will turn you into a duck.

Jadquaffen's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Jadquaffen's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always help great tits.

3. Never talk about asteroids.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Pray towards the south.