Bapyikmad Cibfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, temperamental cat.

Bapyikmad Cibfarn created vertebrates eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bapyikmad Cibfarn, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bapyikmad Cibfarn, she will turn you into a worm.

Bapyikmad Cibfarn's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Bapyikmad Cibfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not trade with those who eat corn.

5. Never think about electromagnetism near shrews while wearing cyan shirts and balancing eight gold spheres on your legs.