Ganfedflambassyarpyik is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, intelligent parrot.

Ganfedflambassyarpyik created life nine million years ago.

If you believe in Ganfedflambassyarpyik, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Ganfedflambassyarpyik, he will turn you into a plant.

Ganfedflambassyarpyik's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Ganfedflambassyarpyik's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate nematodes.

2. Never feed lemons to tapirs while wearing stockings.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Ganfedflambassyarpyik must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink water in black rooms.