Dadhimbem is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, passionate meerkat.

Dadhimbem created the solar system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dadhimbem, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Dadhimbem, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Dadhimbem's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Dadhimbem's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear black.

2. Dadhimbem must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Do not take Dadhimbem's name in vain.

4. Never sing in holy places.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.