Jopflabcid is a god.

It takes the form of a large, annoying cow.

Jopflabcid created a bottom quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Jopflabcid, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Jopflabcid, it will be mildly annoyed.

Jopflabcid's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Jopflabcid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory near dolphins while wearing turquoise dresses.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about nebulae.