Vonkwigjin is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, boastful dog.

Vonkwigjin created the Cigar Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonkwigjin, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Vonkwigjin, she will be very sad.

Vonkwigjin's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Vonkwigjin's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Vonkwigjin.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not kill turtles.