Fetrenarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, duplicitous penguin.

Fetrenarn created the planet Earth nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetrenarn, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fetrenarn, it will destroy your favourite star.

Fetrenarn's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fetrenarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear carbon on your body.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Fetrenarn on top of all buildings.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always look after injured manatees.