Pangbigpakzed is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, annoying pig.

Pangbigpakzed created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pangbigpakzed, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Pangbigpakzed, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Pangbigpakzed's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Pangbigpakzed's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Pangbigpakzed.

3. Retreat if four monkeys approach from the west.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not shave your chest.