Dodkonquart is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, dishonest fox.

Dodkonquart created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dodkonquart, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Dodkonquart, he will come to you in dreams.

Dodkonquart's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dodkonquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near badgers while wearing black stockings.

2. Never think about archaea.

3. Put Dodkonquart first in all things.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.