Damnuttwee is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, witless cow.

Damnuttwee created Europe eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damnuttwee, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Damnuttwee, she will not invite you to parties.

Damnuttwee's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Damnuttwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always wear yellow.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.