Talbanquill is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, slow duck.

Talbanquill created the Whirlpool Galaxy eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talbanquill, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Talbanquill, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Talbanquill's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Talbanquill's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Never paint your chest gray.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Talbanquill.