Dotquillmet is a god.

He takes the form of a small, egotistical goat.

Dotquillmet created an up quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotquillmet, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Dotquillmet, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Dotquillmet's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Dotquillmet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt snakes.

2. Dotquillmet loves snails, so they must be honoured.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Doves are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never talk about dark energy.