Tailtoftap is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, two-faced swan.

Tailtoftap created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tailtoftap, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tailtoftap, it will turn you into a rock.

Tailtoftap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Tailtoftap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Tailtoftap's name in vain.

2. Never wear hats.

3. Never wear white kilts.

4. Pray towards the north.

5. Never write about eukaryotes.