Tettiomtnut is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, awesome dragonfly.

Tettiomtnut created a strange quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tettiomtnut, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Tettiomtnut, it will turn you into a puffin.

Tettiomtnut's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Tettiomtnut's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Learn four new languages a year.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Tettiomtnut.