Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, quiet squid.

Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab created Africa five million years ago.

If you believe in Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab, he will be very unhappy.

Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Quillwapdudfligdussdumsitvab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat carrots.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Retreat if six doves approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Always help manatees in need.