Barnfondim is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, self-assured crane.

Barnfondim created time and space two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Barnfondim, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Barnfondim, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Barnfondim's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Barnfondim's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear violet clothing.

5. Respect your elders.