Monrakbaf is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, selfish hedgehog.

Monrakbaf created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Monrakbaf, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Monrakbaf, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Monrakbaf's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Monrakbaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always help sick eagles.

2. Do not shave your face.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. You must never eat aubergines.

5. Feed all hungry swans.