Konnibtap is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, amazing spider.

Konnibtap created the Black Eye Galaxy nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Konnibtap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Konnibtap, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Konnibtap's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Konnibtap's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not trade with those who eat cherries.

3. Never talk about special relativity.

4. Never go into pink rooms.

5. Run away from violet turtles, for they are unholy.