Teengodtun is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fast gorilla.

Teengodtun created dark matter three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Teengodtun, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Teengodtun, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Teengodtun's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Teengodtun's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never write about optics.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Teengodtun must be the most important thing in your life.