Absuggan is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unselfish human.

Absuggan created viruses eight million years ago.

If you believe in Absuggan, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Absuggan, she will not care at all.

Absuggan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Absuggan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Run away if five hamsters approach from the north.

5. Do not eat lentils.