Jamxendontiklimbet is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, deceitful badger.

Jamxendontiklimbet created the Small Magellanic Cloud eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jamxendontiklimbet, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Jamxendontiklimbet, she will destroy your favourite star.

Jamxendontiklimbet's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Jamxendontiklimbet's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your head.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Jamxendontiklimbet.

3. Always help snails in need.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate snakes.

5. Never feed tomatoes to mites while wearing shoes.