Lakmanfaddib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, intelligent gnu.

Lakmanfaddib created a quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lakmanfaddib, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakmanfaddib, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Lakmanfaddib's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Lakmanfaddib's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven shrews approach from the east.

2. Never talk about snakes.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never talk about thermodynamics near mice while wearing white ear rings and balancing nine nickel spheres on your hands.

5. Never think ill of sick snails.