Cubteenster is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, omnipotent seal.

Cubteenster created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubteenster, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cubteenster, it will have a low opinion of you.

Cubteenster's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Cubteenster's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat limes.

2. Always treat dogs with great respect.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Never talk about fire.