Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, overgenerous raccoon.

Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass, she will have a low opinion of you.

Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass' most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Sanpadjap Jinrutsin Bognurtbass' Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Do not wear tin on your body.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Never mention doves.

5. Always help grasshopers.