Genfenmip is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, conceited centaur.

Genfenmip created dark energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Genfenmip, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Genfenmip, he will turn you into a snail.

Genfenmip's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Genfenmip's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not wear nickel on your body.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always wear pink.