Lakcinflis is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, astonishing finch.

Lakcinflis created Mount Everest five billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakcinflis, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lakcinflis, he will turn you into a tree.

Lakcinflis' most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Lakcinflis' Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never think about chlorophyll.

3. Never feed lots of turnips to snails while wearing white shoes.

4. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Lakcinflis on top of all buildings.

5. Never chant in the presence of aardvarks.