Lakontsug is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, boastful finch.

Lakontsug created the Small Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakontsug, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Lakontsug, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lakontsug's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Lakontsug's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about galaxies.

2. Always help goats in need.

3. Never feed parsnips to porpoises while wearing corsets.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Lakontsug on top of all buildings.