Bidtikcuss is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, merciless gnu.

Bidtikcuss created the planet Jupiter two million years ago.

If you believe in Bidtikcuss, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Bidtikcuss, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bidtikcuss' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bidtikcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Always wear mauve.

2. Never mention porpoises.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. You must never eat cherries.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.