Duncemfen is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, merciless goat.

Duncemfen created the Sol system five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Duncemfen, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Duncemfen, he will destroy your home solar system.

Duncemfen's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Duncemfen's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Duncemfen on top of all buildings.

2. Feed all hungry shrews.

3. Always obey Duncemfen's priests.

4. Do not kill sharks.

5. Always stare at clouds.