Nelbonnurl is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, prudent squirrel.

Nelbonnurl created water nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nelbonnurl, she will approve.

If you do not believe in Nelbonnurl, she will send you a sign.

Nelbonnurl's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Nelbonnurl's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never wear rings.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

4. Never talk about mites.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Nelbonnurl.