Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, self-assured manatee.

Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib created snails nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib, she will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. You must love Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib.

3. Never go into pink rooms.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Xucwigyam Liktailtailpib.

5. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.