Cudgatkan is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, humane seal.

Cudgatkan created matter nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cudgatkan, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cudgatkan, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Cudgatkan's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cudgatkan's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if six frogs approach from the north.

2. Never feed carrots to aardvarks while wearing kilts.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Never hurt voles.

5. Erect a giant carbon sculpture of Cudgatkan in the centre of the settlement.