Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, all-knowing guinea pig.

Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf, she will destroy your home planet.

Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf's Holy Commandments

1. Swans are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Nutyattrig Cutrutstaf must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never think about nucleic acids.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.