Homtifkik Gidyogjab is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, passionate whale.

Homtifkik Gidyogjab created the universe three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Homtifkik Gidyogjab, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Homtifkik Gidyogjab, he will ignore you.

Homtifkik Gidyogjab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Homtifkik Gidyogjab's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Homtifkik Gidyogjab.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Homtifkik Gidyogjab must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Never wear magenta stockings.