Tapjigquim is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, sage tortoise.

Tapjigquim created the planet Jupiter twelve years ago.

If you believe in Tapjigquim, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Tapjigquim, he will turn you into a duck.

Tapjigquim's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Tapjigquim's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Always treat badgers with great respect.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Never feed lots of wheat to manatees while wearing green jumpers.

5. Do not take Tapjigquim's name in vain.