Sakqueegtig is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish ant.

Sakqueegtig created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakqueegtig, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Sakqueegtig, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Sakqueegtig's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Sakqueegtig's Holy Commandments

1. Learn four new languages a year.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Sakqueegtig on top of all buildings.

5. Do not wear indigo clothing.