Vogpodgen is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, dishonest alligator.

Vogpodgen created gold nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogpodgen, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Vogpodgen, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Vogpodgen's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Vogpodgen's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dolphins.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not wear titanium on your body.

4. Hide from magenta sharks for they are unholy.

5. Never wear mauve hats.