Dobhadyakzak is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tranquil grasshopper.

Dobhadyakzak created bats six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobhadyakzak, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Dobhadyakzak, it will turn you into a rat.

Dobhadyakzak's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Dobhadyakzak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not bounce in public.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Never hurt rats.

4. Never wear black kilts.

5. Run away from orange hamsters, for they are unholy.